Just a Quick Funny...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch with $600, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly....

'com-for-da-bul.'

Superior Scribber?? Really???

A new bloggie friend bestowed this award on me a few days back. It makes me laugh because I don't think there is anything "superior" about my scribing! I'm lucky to make complete sentences, use proper verbage, spelling and punctuation. But the acknowledgement is very much appreciated. Thanks Spanki! Please go check Spanki out. She has the cutest kiddos and is beginning a great photography career.

As with all awards, there are rules:

1. Name 5 other Superior Scribblers

2. Link to the author and the name of the blog that gave you the award.

3. Display the award on your blog with this link, which explains the award.

4. At the bottom of that link, add your name to Mr. Linky's list.

5. Post these rules for your recipients.

Alrightie then, now that we have that out of the way, here's my list of recipients:

1. DMV's Wife

2. Karen J-S

3. Lil Mama

4. CindyDianne

5. Tami

Enjoy ladies!

Seriously?!

Okay, if you have been with me since the beginning, you know that I have posted on this before. But I was looking at my horse supply magazine and came across it again. I just can't help myself.

**Beware, my crude childish humor is about to rear its ugly head!!**

This ad makes me giggle every time I see it......

I just can't imagine buying this product for my girls. Uncle Jimmy may be the nicest guy around but I don't think I want his balls hanging in my barn. Cause if they were, I would have to say things like this everytime I walked in....

"Girls, please get Uncle Jimmy's Balls out of your mouth while I'm standing here!"

"Miss Priss, could you please stop licking Uncle Jimmy's ball and come here!"

"Uncle Jimmy must have some really tasty balls."

And the list could go on and on. This is what happens when I can't go to sleep and lie awake in bed. Scary huh!

Oh Baby Jesus, please forgive me!

Fall Colors

We had the final class of Basic Digital Photography last night. I'm really bummed cause it was a lot of fun and very informative. But I am going to sign up for Advanced Digital Photography at the end of January and Photoshop in April. I will keep y'all in the know as I go!

So you know the last assignment was "fall colors" which resulted in a lot of work by me! But I did get some pictures on Sunday. The husband took me over to our lease place and we walked thru all the tree groves. Here is what I found......

I took this one in the Panhandle a few weeks ago. I thought it showed the fall colors of that area. Cause there are no trees to illustrate it!

I learned so much in the past six weeks. It was money well spent. I hope my photography will continue to improve. Here's keepin' my fingers crossed!

Misadventures of the Wife and Kids

We set out on a mission this afternoon...a photography mission. The instructor of my class made our next assignment "autumn colors." The guy should know that our leaves go from green to brown on the ground. There are no beautiful transitions like others elsewhere enjoy. But that was not going to deter me, I was bound and determined to find an orange leaf.

The four kids and I set out on our hunt. We walked along the outside of our pasture thru the neighbor's field. Since our place was an old farm, we only have trees along the fence line. We walked and walked, no luck with our trees. We kept walking past our property line along the edge of the fence just hoping to find something. Still nothing.

Along the very back, there is an opening into another field. I noticed an old barn in the trees on the backside of the field. I had to go check it out. I love old barns and maybe there would be good autumn colors too.

The kids and I made our way over. It was a cool old barn. We walked thru it and all around it. I took a few pics and then walked out behind it. There I found a small tank.

Zena, Warrior Princess, was the first to make her way out to the tank. But she soon bogged down in the mud. The smart little girl she is, she turned and came back. Duke tried his luck too but he didn't get very far before deciding it was not a good idea.

I called all the kids and told them to come back towards the barn. I didn't want anyone trying to get a drink and have problems. Well, about that time, Harley decides he's going out there. I call and yell at him to stay back but the little sucker went on anyways. Soon he was stuck in the mud.

He wallered and strained but there was no way he was budging. He was just wearing himself out making attempts to free himself.

So I'm guessing you want me to put the camera down and get you out?

I don't get very close to him without sinkin'. I ponder the situation for a second then get a big long branch. I try manuvering it under Harley so I can pry him up out of the mud. But that just pisses him off and he bites at the stick.

Fine! I take a big step out and reach. I snag him by his spiked collar and pull him to safety.

What's this? I can't get my leg out!! I am caught by the super strength mud on the back forty near an old barn that the husband doesn't even know about and I left my phone at the house. And I didn't tell anyone where I was going. And he won't get home till after dark. By that time, all the kids will have gone home and left me to die! At this point, I fall to my knees to pray that my handsome doctor will appear out of the sunlite trees and pull me from the death mud.

But I look up and see Zena standing pretty close. I reach out and grab her collar. She looks at me with a look that says, "I may be a warrior princess, but I am not a super dog!" Okay, whatever! I let go of her and try crawling. The mud will not let go of my leg. I muster up all the strenth I can and puuuulllllll!

Holy crap, I got out! Luckily, I wore my lace ups today, otherwise, I would have been one shoe short. And with over a mile trek back to the house that would have sucked! AND I love shoes too much to leave one behind. No man shall be left behind. Oh what a tragedy that would have been!

Anyhoo, I rounded up the kids and started back to the homestead. I felt like my foot weighed an extra 10 lbs. Bet Harley felt that way too!

We made it back and cleaned up. Then took naps. There was a lot of energy exerted today!

Quote of the Day.....

Courtesy of the husband:



"That boy's either ate up with stupid or ate up with crack."



So what was the husband talking about?

This was his way of telling a boss that a co-worker needed a drug test. He's so eloquent.

Thumbs Down

It seems the husband and I are falling apart, his teeth, my wrist. I am still having problems with my wrist, been going on for over 2 months. I went back to my doctor the end of September for x-rays and he still couldn't figure it out. He told me to give it another month then he would send me to an orthopedist. So Tuesday I went to the specialist, Dr. Battles.

First let me say, ladies if you need an orthopedist, he's your guy. Not only did he know exactly what was wrong with me, he is cute, cute, cute! Cutie Patootie Dr. Battles confirmed there was nothing wrong with my bones but my tendons are screwed up. He's making me wear a brace (Yuck! Hate it!) and go to physical therapy. I would usually balk at doing both but since the cute young doctor asked me to do it, I will.

The husband was so glad someone was finally able to diagnose me and get me on the right track to recovery. He wasn't as happy when I told him what a hottie the doctor was. I told the husband I needed to think of something to break so I could go back! I got the "look" of course. Then he asked, "Did you take his picture?" No, I didn't want him to think I was a weirdo! Geez!

Can't Believe My Eyes

I never thought I would see this again! I filled my truck up and it only cost me $30. Holy Moly! But I'm guessing the drop in price is not going to last very long. Good things usually don't. How are the prices in your area?

Portraits

This was the hardest assignment for me. First, I'm not good at posed pictures. Second, I'm not good at taking people pictures. Third, I'm just not good! Anyhoo, the husband was a trooper. He modeled for me on Sunday, working thru the pain of his "craters" to help me out. I took lots of pictures and this is the one I came up with.

I need to crop it down some but I wasn't real motivated. So after looking at the pictures on the computer, I thought I better go for something I am much better at....animals. I waited for the husband to pass out from his pain medication and took the dogs to the tank in the pasture. I knew Duke liked to sit up on the tank's edge and thought that would be perfect. And luckily, he did just that........

The husband woke up to me editing pictures on my laptop. He asked what I was doing and said I had taken pictures of Duke. He said, "So you would rather take pictures of the dog than me. I see how I rate." Poor hubby, I'm just not a people picture taker unless it's a spontaneous kind of thing. No posing pics for me. I don't have the eye for it. But that's okay, I know my limitations.

***Update on the husband.....he has a dry socket. So now we are dealing with that. He really hates dentists now!***

Two Teeth Less

Yesterday was the big day. The husband had to go back to the dentist and get two teeth pulled. His original appointment was at 10:30 but they called and said he could come early about 10. So we headed out. As he left the house, he told the dogs he hoped to see them again. Oh my!

We arrived at the dentist at around 9:45 and they were not ready for him. They asked us to wait in the adult waiting room. Yeah, my dentist has a kid's waiting room and an adult only waiting room. If you know me, that is a major plus in my book. Not exactly a kid person. Anyhoo, we went and sat and sat and sat. The husband started getting antsy. He said he was tired of waiting and was going to leave. Kinda hard to do since I had the keys to the truck.

So then he decided to walk into the back of the office to make sure they didn't forget about him. I followed him as he made his way thru. They were still working on some teenagers so the husband said he was going outside. The dentist came out and asked where he was, I told him he was outside making a run for it. He asked if he was coming back. I said, Dunno! So the dentist went outside and talked to him.

I went outside to check on him. He said the dentist was wearing something on his arm. I told him it was an IPod. That way he couldn't hear the screams. The husband didn't appreciate my humor!

Finally around 11, they got the husband in the room and all hooked up. They had heart rate monitors on him, blood pressure monitors, oxygen and the IV.

At one point I heard the heart rate monitor beep differently, I told the husband he was flat lining! He didn't care for my humor again!

Oh look, the implements of pain!

The dentist really doped the husband up. He didn't want him to remember anything so next time maybe the hubby wouldn't be so uptight about going. I sat right outside the door. They would try to get the husband to respond verbally to them but he was so doped up he couldn't. The assistant thought my picture taking was pretty funny. Once he got doped up, she was telling me to come in and take his picture cause he'd never know! But I waited till they finished and got this post-op pic.

After they took the IV out, we had to wait for about 15 minutes for them to monitor the husband. During this time, the assistant was telling me the dos and don'ts. She said he couldn't dip for 48 hours. The husband argued about this with her in his drunk state. He also advised her she wasn't near as mean as his wife! Isn't that sweet!

She came back in and said he was ready to go home. He had passed out. But we roused him and got him to the truck. But didn't he look happy in his drunk passed out state!

I stopped on the way home and got him some ice cream, which he drooled down the front of him. It's really hard to eat when you're entire bottom lip is numb! He's doing better now with un-numb lips. But now I have to listen about the huge craters in his mouth! Oh my, please pray for me!