So I've never realized that World Cancer Day is held every February 4th. Guess it never crossed my radar in my busy "doesn't apply to me" prior life. But as the husband said the other day, "Our lives changed forever on January 2, 2014." Yes, it did but we choose our path not cancer.
It really feels as though a year has passed in the last month. Maybe the shock of the diagnosis has finally worn off? All the anxiety of the unknown has subsided after receiving the test results? Now I'm settling in with what needs to be done to get the husband treated, keep him healthy and support him in this journey.
I've learned a few things in this past month. For one, people deal with the diagnosis of cancer in many different ways. One is no more right than another. For me, I am goal oriented. I see the problem, now let's work on the solution. Plus my almost 15 years of criminal justice work has taught me how to deal with really bad stuff without emotion. Does that make me appear cold at times, yes, it does. But it works for me. Do I have meltdowns? Of course! But because people don't know what is going on behind closed doors, some have felt I'm not handling the situation "appropriately". Appropriate by who's standards? Is there a handbook on cancer that I've overlooked?
Another thing I learned is those diagnosed with cancer are poked, prodded, stuck, measured and all around jacked with relentlessly. Though it's necessary, it takes a toll on the patient. The husband is SO tired of seeing doctors and taking tests. His frustration is warranted. I wish I could take his place at times. Okay, maybe for like the urine test. I could handle that one for sure! And along with all the tests are all the questions from family and friends. It becomes exhausting repeating the same thing over and over but we know everyone just wants to know the latest thus the blog!!
I find it's hard for people to know what to say especially the first time you see them after they've heard the "news". You see it on their face. I wish I could just put them out of their misery. There are no magic words. For me, if you think you need to say something, just say you've been thinking of or praying for us. That works for me. Then we can move on to normal talk. Normal talk is the best!
Yep, our lives are forever changed. Cancer has invaded our space but it does not define who we are. We are and will forever be Crazy M.
5 comments:
I <3 Crazy M!!
I try to comment on posts like this because I've walked that path with a loved one or two. I remember that just a few words of understanding went a long way. You handle your lives how you choose, whatever gets you through this in a way that helps you cope. It's exhausting, to say the least. Just take care of your honey....and yourself. Again, wishing you the very best.
Amen to that!
Donna, NY
KIt, we all love you and i know George loves you. you are doing what you need to:
my advice, having been through this: Eat, Sleep and love each other because you need to keep up your strenght both physical and emotional. the hell with what people think or say, those that are your friends will never question you and thoes that are not don't matter.
as our family has gone through tough times in the past we have all dealth with thing in severl ways and what ever way you need to get through this is what you need to do. you are the only one you have to anser to. I know that all the kids know you love and respect their uncle Greorg, brother and our son so the hell with the rest of the world.. i apprecaite you more than you will ever know. darell love you and that is what you need to focus on.. those of you that love you and want to give you strenght in any way they can. i keep sending strenght each day through prayer and positive thought. I lvoe an appreciate you and what you and George do for each other. I now he will not be easy to be around sometimes i know how impatient he is and how he wants it now... but he will do as good as you will, you will have each other to lean on and that is so important in life. just tell whom ever you want ... if you think i am not doing it right just call my mother in law and she will tell you.... take care love you both more than words can say.. love you to the moom and back... you are both great and will come out on top of this..
Keeping you both in my prayers, and so proud to "know you " you have faced this together with strength grace and humor! Awesome
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