Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Please Remind Me To Never....

Heaven help me, never again will I wear shorts to run.  Well, at least not till I lose at least 10 lbs.  Let me explain to you my ordeal.  Today I thought it would be a good idea to get a pair of my old running shorts out.  It's hot and why not wear them.  So I found a pair that I could still actually get my butt into.  I was feelin' pretty good.

Headed out to the road.  Took my first few steps and realized I made a terrible mistake!  A few days ago, I posted on Reeboks and Spurs about my spandex tights swooshing as I ran.  Why I didn't think of that, one will never know.  So here I am, out on the country road, with my thighs generating such a massive vortex that my shorts have no other option but to be sucked into my crotch.  No matter how many times I pulled them back down, the force was impenetrable.  The shorts succumbed to it every time within milliseconds.  I finally gave up.

It's a lovely image I know.  At least only one truck passed me and he was coming from behind me.  My inner thighs are rubbed raw.  I told the husband I need to find the suave.  His only response, "oh my."  Then I told him if he finds a bag of frozen peas in the bed tonight, not to worry, I just had them between my thighs.



Now aren't y'all glad I decided to share this here and not on my running blog.  I figured you could use a laugh.

22 comments:

Tales from the Trails said...

Too funny. What a great story. thanks for sharing : )

Gail said...

I feel your pain! Put alcohol on it and you will remember never to do this again.

Christy said...

Oh, I'll bet that was a sight. That "vortex" problem was why I only wore skirts when I was pregnant with my daughter. Unfortunately the one and only time I wore shorts, it was on a trip to Walmart. Definitely not pretty.

fernvalley01 said...

Ouch!!! get yourself some zic ointment, (penaten zincofax, diaper cream) It will sooth the chafe quickly and keep clothing from irritating things any worse.I keep it around for sunburned horses and chafes and rashes for me and hubby

Snappy Di said...

Ouch... hate those whirling, twirling vortex thingies. At least there were no flames.

Di

Shirley said...

Bag Balm works too! Loved the Husband's response!

Cedar View Paint Horses said...

THIS is why I don't wear corduroy. Fwwt fwwwt fwwt fwwwt....

Paintsmh said...

Oh Kit I am sorry :( That sounds painful as all get out!

In3Dee said...

Hubby said "oh my" because being a man, he has probably been galded, and was having sympathy pains.

LMAO@ suction, vortex...and the idea of it all.

lisa said...

Honey, you are not the only one with that problem;)

Sunshine Mom said...

Shirley is right, Bag Balm to the rescue! Awesome stuff :)

Linda said...

Monistat makes a Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder Gell that is AWESOME! "Non-greasy POWDER-GEL™ skin protectant formula with dimethicone. Dries to form a silky, breathable barrier to fight friction." Believe me, this fat girl uses it when ever she is forced to wear anything shorter than capri's!

Goodwife said...

Oh Sweet Cakes! I just went to town yesterday and bought me some capri's to run in. I got me some big ole thighs and can't run in shorts either. It's getting way too hot here to run in long workout pants, so I had to make do with knee length capris! I feel your pain and would like to recommend some A&D ointment, works wonders for galled thighs, or the under boob area as well! ;)

tberry29 said...

Oh my! I just laughed til I cried..such a funny way a puttin it girl..Dont remember if I have commented b4 on here but I just had to say thanks for the laugh. Love following ur blog.
A fellow Texas Gal,
Trish

Nicole said...

I have that same problem too :( You aren't alone!

Country Whispers said...

I'm still laughing and with tears in my eyes.
You sure have a way with words.

Lil Mama said...

I have felt your pain. I don't think there is any way that that wouldn't happen. You would have to have little stick legs. I for one like my drum sticks.

Vaquerogirl said...

If GAWD had wanted us to run, he would not have invented horses! Sheesh!

...in the meantime, Monkey Butt Powder is good for that area, as is Gold Bond Medicated, and it feels wonderful! Just don't get it in any real sensitive places- unless of course you are 'bent' that way...
OH My!
LOL

Linda said...

Been there ( but not for a long while) and done that......ouch!

K. T. Sparks said...

Oh dear, it is awful and most of us have been there! Just remember that if your legs look llike a semi can drive between them....that don't look right......(did that help? LOL)

Merri said...

two words: Body Glide! (if you DO decide to try that again.)
- The Equestrian Vagabond

CTG Ponies said...

Ouch! Hope you feel better soon.