Friday, November 14, 2008

The Silver Bullet

I must tell you about the husband and his vehicle, the Silver Bullet. But first, let me give you the background story.
The husband bought a brand new pickup last year. It is very nice, however, he took a job about an hour and a half away from the house. When fuel prices started to soar, he decided he needed to buy a small car being it was the most affordable option at the time. One day, as I sat at my desk, he called and asked me to search the internet for a Kia Spectra. Which I did and he wanted to know what it looked like. Well, a regular 'ol car I said, why? He had found one at a local dealership and thought he would buy it.

A day or so later, he asked me if I could drive him into town so he could sign the paperwork and pick up the car. You really bought the car, sight unseen?? Oh my. I could never do that but the husband, not a problem for him. He had arranged for our banker to have the paperwork ready so all he had to do was pick up the car and take the signed papers back to the bank.

We get to the dealership bright and early. Go in and get the keys. We walk outside and this is what we see.....

Not a Kia Spectra but a Kia Spectra5. Not the same color they said, not the same options. Totally different car than the one he thought he was buying. We both looked at each other and said this can't be the car. The sales guy comes out and says, "whatcha think?" The husband said, "This isn't what I was told over the phone." Of course, we got the "oh yeah? Humm, this is what we discussed. Maybe you just misunderstood me or something." The sales guy left and I stood there in awe. I finally blurted out, "Damn, this is ugly!" I couldn't believe my bullrider of a husband was now the proud owner of a hatchback!

Over a year later, he has driven the tires off the little sucker. It gets him where he needs to go and doesn't cost us an arm and a leg in fuel so it's served its purpose. But Monday, he and the Silver Bullet had close call. On my way home from class, I spoke with him on the phone. It went something like this....

H: "I wrecked my car tonight."

W: "WHAT!! What do you mean you wrecked your car tonight?"

H: "On the way home from work, I hit a raccoon. And it tore my car up."

W: "A raccoon? What did a raccoon do to your car?"

H: "It busted the fog light casing. And tore the front end up. I had to stop and pull the fender out too."

W: "WHAT!"

H: "I pulled over but it was dark. So I went to the truck stop. Had to buy some zip ties to fix the bumper."

W: (laughing hysterically) "You zip tied your car together! That must have been like a super strength raccoon!"

H: "Well, when your car is only about 2 inches off the ground, it doesn't take a very big animal to tear it up."

When I got home that night, I shined my truck lights on his car. Sure enough, zip ties holding the bumper together. I laughed again.

The next day I asked the husband how the car was doing. He said he thought the zip ties were doing a great job and reinforced it quite well. Then yesterday he gets home and tells me he hit another raccoon. Another one??? Yep, but this time it only busted one of the zip ties. Those zip ties really did reinforce the front end of the car!

Maybe for Christmas, I can have a grill guard specially made for the Silver Bullet. However, by that time, the husband may have killed all the raccoons in the area. I'll just make sure we stay fully stocked on zip ties.

21 comments:

Lacey Jo said...

lol what a unique idea haha. you shoulda taken a picture of it

The Wife said...

Lacey Jo-I'll try on Sunday. Haven't gotten it done yet cause he doesn't get home till after dark.

Faithful said...

and I thought zip ties were only for prolapses. he!he!

DVM's Wife said...

How hilarious! Zip ties, bungee cords, and duck tape are my favorite things! I had a turkey fly into the side of my truck managing well over $1000 worth of damage. Amazing hey? I shudder to think what a deer could do to that little car.

Paige said...

hey if it works, it works! I think this zip ties are the car version of baling twine. With the both of them, what cant you fix?

Foxterriermom said...

That car ain't so ugly!

bekah said...

haha PLEASE get him a grill guard for it, and post pics ASAP!

Tiff said...

LOL this has me laughing hysterically. when he said the part about being 2 inches off the ground I almost spit pizza rolls out my nose!

Donna said...

That's hilarious! My husband bought a Kia Sportage for work, the side mirror is held on by duct tape because he keeps falling asleep while driving and knocking it off. My brother drives a little 1994 Toyota something for work and one day he rear-ended someone. It broke the headlight and he couldn't find a replacement, so now he has a 1973 Chevy pickup headlight in it. Aint' our guys just great!

Karen J-S said...

Zip ties are a great idea! I'm not surprised on the damage though...it doesn't take much for those lil' cars.

My husband nicked a deer 2 years back and is finally picking up the corner marker light that got crushed this weekend to fix it...but it's not easy to find a 1989 Camry part where we live!

Train Wreck said...

Wow those are some racoons! You have any nuclear plants in your area!? I can just see one of those big ol Texas grills on there! Becareful it way lift the back end of your bullet!! He lucky the racoon didn't get up and yank his butt out of the car! hahahahaha! hahahahaah!"zip ties" hahahahaha

The Wife said...

TW-You know everything's bigger in Texas! The husband said he looked for the 1st raccoon but couldn't find it. I made fun and said it probably did all that damage and just walked off.

Neas Nuttiness said...

Hey - zip ties are amazing. On "vacation" last year (driving behind youngest daughter - well driving behind youngest daughter's car),we noticed something under her car was hanging down, and draging along the street. - Luckily we were pulling out of my parents driveway. - DH and my dad whipped out a zip tie and away we went. The suckers still under her car, and we've driven to Florida and Back and then out to Colorado and Wyoming. Can't fail to love a 2 cent car repair!

bekah said...

shout out to you tomorrow on Country Mouse!

Vaquerogirl said...

Commuter car- $10,000.
Zip Ties- .02
McGyver-ish Husband- Priceless

Funny story! Thanks for the laugh!

ladyfi said...

Oh goodness - this was hilarious (but probably not for the racoons!)

Jamie said...

How about a great big tub of zip ties and a roll of duct tape?....you never know when they may come in handy with the bullet.

Train Wreck said...

I had to have my hubby come read about your hubby's mis adventures with the little road bandit! He doesn't really get the whole "blog" thing but he likes yours. He says you and I could be sisters. Well hell ya! I told him we were long lost seperated at seperate births sisters!

Jennifer said...

I thought you were going to say that the silver bullet was the best lookin car you had ever seen... hee hee. I hear the zip-tie look is IN now. It says that you're saving on gas AND creative. :D

spanki said...

don't you send any of those fellas this to my neck of the woods! i have done my fair share of animal control, but that little guy really left his mark!! too funny! i will have to start carrying zip ties in my car... i have just about everything else, why haven't i thought of that???

The W.O.W. factor said...

Zip ties....Hmmm! I thought baling twine or duct tape was the standard repair kits carried around! Guess I should inform my Cowboy!
If a raccoon can damage like that, imagine what a Texas sized grasshopper would do as tries to leaped over! ;)